Happy New Year!

I've done a fair bit of driving the last couple of weeks (about 1400km). Here's a list of lessons learnt, mostly for your amusement...

1. It doesn't matter how early you leave, you are not driving fast enough to get to the airport on time if there's a car keeping up with you.
2. The collision damage excess waiver on an Audi A4 Avant is 300€, and is a waste of money.
3. Hire car companies will remove the navigation CD from a navigation equipped car just so they can charge you to rent a navigation off them.
4. It costs the same amount to rent snow chains for a week as it does to buy them from a random motorway service station.
5. Snow chains are recommended in certain circumstances if driving to a ski resort on all-season tyres, however with a bit of forethought (usually spurred on by hindsight) they aren't necessary. In fact I'd go as far as saying people are mad going on about having to get winter tyres and being stuck in the snow.
6. The highest rated navigation software on the iTunes store has no concept of mountain passes being closed in the winter and turned into skiing pistes.
7. Neither does the Garmin navigation system my friend brought along.
8. At 39€ the Frejus tunnel is pretty expensive.
9. Whilst the French will build scary roads that follow the curvature of the mountains, the Italians just build viaducts and dig tunnels resulting in a straight motorway that goes through everything in its path.
10. Italians are mad drivers, especially on the motorway.
11. An Audi A4 loaded with 5 passengers and their luggage handles like a boat and steers only slightly better than the Titanic.
12. The cruise control on Audis is really confusing.
13. The Audi A4 is rubbish and I am soooo glad I bought a BMW instead of an A5 convertible.
14. Although the Audi A4 is crap, it does have a much smoother ride and lighter steering than my BMW, which I only really noticed upon my return to London.
15. Watch out for speed cameras in France, especially when you reset your navigation to default settings in a futile attempt to get it to direct you through the Frejus tunnel instead of over a ski piste. Twice.
16. There is an admin fee for changing your flight on easyjet.
17. If you purchased speedy boarding, you lose it when your flight is changed, and you only find out when you're at the front of the speedy boarding queue and the guy has a go at you for not having speedy boarding.
18. Don't forget you bought speedy boarding when arriving at the airport and queuing with the plebs.
19. There is a bit of road between Turin and Milan where you're driving pretty fast and a train passes you as if you're standing still.
20. Don't go shopping with girls in Milan during the sales.
21. It costs £15 per day extra when you're late for picking up your car from Gatwick airport valet parking.
22. Don't forget the mess you made at home in your rush to pack for your ski trip at the last minute.
23. Although O2 text you telling you that for £1.99 per day you can use your phone abroad as you would at home, the next day they will text you a warning telling you that yesterday you used 70MB and your limit was 25MB and if you do it again they will put you back on the standard tariff. This is more annoying than not having data at all.
24. There is absolutely nothing to do at Milan Malpensa Terminal 1 when waiting 8 hours for a delayed flight from Moscow to arrive, apart from marvel at the variety of taxis waiting at the taxi rank outside. Everything from a Dacia Duster to a Citroen C6 to a BMW 1-series.
25. The French don't know how to make coffee, especially in fancy looking motorway service stops.
26. The Italians do know how to make coffee, even in really dodgy looking motorway service stops.
27. The flat fare from anywhere in Milan to Malpensa airport is 90 euros. Whilst this may seem excessive, it is a 45-60 minute drive, depending on traffic conditions.
28. The closest petrol station to Malpensa is a dodgy and super expensive automated place that has a machine which accepts only cash pre-payment for fuel. It's still cheaper than returning the car without a full tank.
29. The GPS on the iPhone is not fast or accurate enough to give good driving directions in complicated junctions, due to the 2 second sampling interval. Only a fool forgets the two second rule!
30. The french for breathalyser is ethylotest. Don't forget that from next spring if you're not carrying a reusable one (or two disposable ones) while driving in France you can get an on the spot fine.

This New Years Eve was a bazillion times better than last year, and 2012 was really awesome for me. Let's hope 2013 is even better. It's got off to a fabulous start anyway :)

Ana and Christof's Wedding

No sooner am I back from Vaujany than I have to fly off to Austria for a wedding. Ana and Christof are good friends of mine and a great couple.
They organised their wedding at very short notice (no she's not pregnant, that's just how they are), and it was very good.

My journey started in Stansted, where I got on an easyjet plane to Ljubljana. It was a pretty decent flight. I'd packed lightly to avoid the expensive luggage charges, so basically had ski gear and a change of underwear, some jeans and my suit. It all fitted in my carry-on case, which made the journey quite smooth.
On landing in Ljubljana, I wanted a coffee but had no idea what currency they used, so thought it best not to risk it. Turns out they use Euros. Exchanged some texts with Stephen (Ana's friend who I never met before) and we met up and made our way to the car hire desk.
Problem number 1 - an unexpected 72€ for random stuff for driving in Austria. Snow chains and the like.
Problem number 2 - apparently a toll for the tunnel (not a problem in the end, see below), and a 7.90€ fee for a Vignette, needed to drive on Austrian motorways.
Problem number 3 - the biggest problem we faced - my TomTom Navigator only has maps for Western Europe, and Slovenia counts as Eastern Europe. This meant TomTom was unable to find a reference point to begin navigation.

We just headed in what we thought was the right direction. Turned around and went the other way. Turned around again and headed for the motorway. I saw a sign for Klagenfurt and thought that was in Austria, so headed there, on the basis that once there the navigation would work. This meant we avoided the toll tunnel, taking the scenic route instead. We got there later and all was well.
On the Friday night Ana and Christof had organised a night in a local bar, with awesome goulash soup. Yummy. There were quite a few of Ana's friends who I'd met once or twice there, so I didn't feel completely alone, and apparently a friend who I'd helped skating who recognised me but whose name I couldn't remember. I won't reveal her name just yet because it took me a day to work out what it was.
The next day, the wedding took place in a lovely little church on the mountainside. I can now confirm that a regular suit is not suitable attire for a mountain church. It was freezing, and I thought my toes were going to drop off. At one point I thought they had. The reception couldn't come soon enough!
After warming up indoors, and having made eye contact with mysterious skater girl several times during the wedding, we finally spoke to each other  Turns out her name was Olga. She was pretty hot, and liked flirting with me, which was awesome. Alas, flirting was all it would be with Olga. It was a shame in a way because we spent the evening together, going through photos for Ana and Christof's on-the-fly wedding album, and generally had a good time.
We spent the whole of the next day skiing together. She's fun, and wants to come skiing again in March. Nothing was ever going to happen anyway, because she lives in Russia, which is rather inconvenient for finding a time to meet up and go for dinner or see a movie.

The return journey went fairly smoothly, but I was pleased to return home.